--

I just wanna be good enough.

Blow My Mind.

Sunday was Yvonne's birthday. I picked up Bianca and Cynthia Ding early so we could all just chill before the dinner. None of us had enough money to shop at all, so we just looked. We went into Burbank mall trying to look for a photo taking store, like the old ones 'Dreamshots' or whatever you call them. Unfortunately, the new craze is all about Cue these days, so there was no store. We got ice cream from DQ and talked a little outside. By the time we walked around the entire shopping area, it was time to go already. Met up with everybody at 7, and ate Alaskan rolls, laughed, chilled.
Pictures from the night:

You think everythings finally on track.
For the hundreth time, but finally on track.
Then out of nowhere everything hits you again, hard this time.
You don't know what to do, who to run to, where to go. You just wanna leave.
But only wimps leave and you've been through to much to even consider being called a wimp.
That sums up my Monday night.

Tomorrow starts testing for the rest of the week, yesssss.
Extra sleep.

"If we'd stop caring so much, I think we'd have a pretty good time"
-Winnie the Pooh

And They Lived Happily Ever After.

Now that I think of it, my parents are never together. At least alone. I feel like they're going to grow old together, but only for the sake of my brother and I. What'll happen when we're both off to college and living on our own? Are they gonna argue 24/7, or go watch movies together? Is the house going to be dead quiet or are they gonna invest in a cute little dog to the place of me or my brother.. Truth is, even though I've learned how to get what I want from them, or even say what they want to hear, they're still my parents and the ones that'll stay with me when everyone else leaves. Even if they're happiness is not my ideal fairytale, I'll learn to cope. Hey, I always do.

Gray Day.

Thank goodness it's Friday, boy do I need a break. Things finally have picked up and I've been smiling more than almost ever since the year started. Testing comes up next week, and its just been cruising by me like a windy Spring day. Maybe there is a reason to care about them. But if there is, it hasn't hit me quite yet.
I feel like the year is moving by faster and faster. The days go slower each minute, but the last time I recall, I was laying in bed thinking of how the last few weeks of school will be. And now it's here. Countdown from 9..
Today included, Bianca's choreo, veggie lunch, pho w/ Lauren, Barnes and Noble, new dress (again -__-), beautiful boy, mission w/ Sarah and Janelle, Jamba, Taco Bell. My life is a pointless shithole of nothingness. I LOVE IT.

The Butterfly Effect is playing downstairs and my familys sitting and talking about their day and eating fruit. I shall go join them now, toodles.

“ How I wish you could see the potential; the potential of you & me. It’s like a book, elegantly bound.. but in a language you can’t read just yet. You got to spend some time, love. You got to spend some time with me & I know that you’ll find love: I will possess your heart. "

You Know Itttttt

Oh I'm back on track, feeels so good.

Four Two Oh.

It's funny to think about what was happening exactly one year ago from today. One year ago today I was hoping that my (ex?) would not do anything stupid. One year ago I was still young and foolish. One year ago I didn't know what I wanted, well I don't now either, but I'm on the right track.
There doesn't seem enough of me to go around. I willingly try my hardest to be the greatest friend to those who actually mean something to me, but other than that, I don't think I'm there enough. Of course I'm there for the 4 min long enough to hear whats going on, but I'm not the same me. The old me would've taken the time to talk and sort and discuss. And now am I really that insecure to act like I don't care? What do I know. I don't want to be so observative, so judgemental. I want to be the type to just open up. To not wonder about how far we'll get together, but just live for the moment. Maybe I've just had too many heart breakers over and over again.

Suga Suga.

Frustrating how I get mad when I have nothing to do. I'm currently hating life right now and it's ridiculous.

Burn Baby, Burn.

If it were possible to label your computer, mine would be under 'mental'. Hopefully my new computer comes sooon, come to me baaaaby.
My Friday was spent being woken up from a Bianca text message at around 6:30 am. I fell back asleep and she came to my house around 8ish. We made breakfast: spam, OJ, tea for me, chicken rice and I watched Step Up 2 while Bianca slept on the couch. After the movie we went up to the pool and swam/took pictures/chilled. Lucky ol me lives all the way up in the middle of nowhere, so there was no way for us to get.. anywhere. We got ready and waited til my mom came home and she took us to the Cheesecake Factory. My goddamn brother aka Mr. Drama King/Hormones/Ugly whines the entire time and we didn't even end up walking around with our 'award winning' outfits. After dinner we went to Pinkberry, dropped Bianca off, the end.

We win.

Today was the perfect beach day. But of course I kick it at home doing nothing. My lazy
Saturday was spent uploading pictures, watching Keeping Up With the Kardeshians, and eating. I had a dentist appointment -___- killer. Now I think I'll finish up playing the piano then watch Cinderella Story. K byeeeeeee.

Oh, Your Asking About My Day?

Thursday: Plans down the drain, apparently some people need to be home by 2? Okay. Other than that, everyone was out and about already so I just resorted to staying home. Watching like 1/4 of Benjamin Button (snore.. kinda) and just eating. My mom asked me if I wanted to go to Costco with her, so I jumped at the thought of going out. Who woulda known that I'd end up throwing up in their parking lot. Pretty soon I was 'back bent shoulders slouched couldn't get in the car' status. I started sweating 100 gallons a minute and moaning all the way home. Took a 2.6 hour nap and now I'm here. Sucks.. cause I'm craving potato chips.

Welllllll, maybe seeing Bianca and Lauren tomorrow. We shall see. Night.

I Swear If You Only Knew.

My dads getting me a new computer and I'm soooo happy, cause this old slow ass shit will be in the trash! Yessssss.
My fortune cookie read "There are big changes for you but you will be happy." Hot damn. Could this relate to my life any more? I'm sure that things will turn out for the best but I know its going to take a lot more tears to be shed and a lot more mountains to climb. But after all, the hardest decisions are the most rewarding, right? Things will definetily be for the better, cause I finally know what I want now.
I'm really hoping tomorrows plans fold out. I'm in need of some fun.

Only You'd Understand.

T'was a chill day at practice. My body has its own mind at this point and it's really not letting me give up. I've finally grounded myself and I'm ok.
Fancy dinner at home with Mom and brother today, lobster, tofu, salad, OJ, you got it. I can't wait for Spring Break to really start! :D
I've noticed that its hard to really please people these days. No matter how easy it is to roll your eyes or just walk away, that really never helps a situation. So for now, I'll play along.

Yesterday, Cynthia came over after our practice and we went swimming. More like just chillin in the 60 degree weather, but goddamn. That girl makes me so hahahaaaappy, we both want boyfriends. Hooookitup.

I hope my plans fold out for the rest of Spring Break, pictures will be up soon.

1. I never even got to have the chance to do anything that I wanted with you. Or you, haha.

One Bad Egg.

Happy Easter everybody!

Spring Break is starting off real well. Yesterday: went to AA with my mom and got a skirt and tube/bra thing. After that we went to eat and had a good bonding time. Later that night, the whole family watched Changeling. It was amaaaazing, so good. Not much for a R movie, but still one of the good ones.
Trish Ann Nubla I love you. Idk if your reading this, but I hope your doing okay and that I am here for you no matter what. Stay strong even though everythings falling apart. It must be so hard for you, but just know that I love you so much<3
Meeting up at Andrea's house today at 1 o'clock, and then just chillen with her and her mom. Laaaaates! :)

Flashback to the Future.

It's scary to think about the future for me. One sides telling me its the right thing to do, yet the other side tells me that its not the right way to go? As of now, my future is a blur and I have no clue how I'm going to face it. Things seem different these days. Lonelier, scarier. The weather sure shows it. Attitudes have been switched around, and I feel like I'm back to the old days. Not so much fun.

Today was a half day, chill chill. After school Cynthia and I had a date at Ichiban. Christian came and met up with us and I had tempura ice cream for the first time! Not as good as I thought, but the green tea ice cream is my favorite<3 Then Cynthia and I went to watch Hannah Montana. We had pretty much a whole row to ourselves. The movie was good (recommended), and we ended up tearing up, singing along, and had constant popcorn fights. I told myself no money would be spent today on clothes, but ended up spending 27 on a dress. Silly me. But even worse, 40 bucks was spent on food -__- Its really scary getting hit on by random men/boys. Especially when they ask you what kinda heels you like. It was raining and cold outside so we went inside Barnes and Nobles and read Sex books, lololol. So funny.

I've felt so much disappointment lately and it kills. I need to keep my head up once again and not let this silly thing get through to me. I think I'm deleting my Myspace or keeping it inactive. Tomorrow will be filled with American Apparal, dim sum, and homework. Joy. Goodnight.

Take It In. Day By Day.

Oh dilemma! My most popular situation. What happens when your stuck and don't know what to do. When no ones there because no one understands? No one at home, nor at school. Its just you and yourself. I'm stuck and I don't know what will be done. I'm sick of constantly trying to satisfy everyone around me and I should start doing what I want to do. Maybe not what's right for me.. yet I always end up in the same place. Back here.

Horrible day today. Funny how yesterday was amazing and today just stunk. Maybe some tortilla chips and salsa will heal this constant head throb of mine. Goodbye

choiceschoiceschoices

right from wrong, wrong from right
at this point it all looks the same to me

www.twitter.com/ohohfiho

pro.cras.tin.aaaate!

i need to study for my 3 dang tests tomorrow
too bad i'm lazE! Oh, FML.

Half a Conversation.

Hey,
you and I
are going to
have
a big
love affair
and it won't
work
but somewhere
in the middle
my god,
we tried

Fryed.

I realized I love it when I forget to eat.
Today was an overall successful car wash today. It gave me the summer chills. Good bonding time but I was exhausted by the time I got home. Cynthia came over for a while, we watched Knowing online. Now, my cheeks are burnt. Lips, chapped. Oh booyhhh.
You know how people say they don't want someone temporary to love? I think someone temporary is the only person I can love. There's no patience in me, maybe even no heart. I just miss those goodmorning texts though. And the way I secretly blush everytime you say something cute.

Post.

pasadena>glendale anyday.

shopping spreeeee today, cute BOY, happeeee
carwash tomorrow scrub a dub dub come and support!

Snore Galore.

I always plan for my 'break from homework' naps to be around 30 minutes, but in reality they turn out to be 4 times that amount. I should've been up 2 hours ago -.-

Tomorrow's no practice, rally, Pasadena, shopping!, boys. Ooh I want a boy so baddddddddd..


bye