It's not Goodbye, It's See Ya Later!

Kevin Sy,

It's not real right? Your not really leaving. This is just a joke for all of us to laugh at later right? You'll be at the mall meeting up with us for Pinkberry and movies right? I can IM you tonight and you'll be saying things like 'i'm tired and come pick me up' right? This is just a joke.... right? I mean, what would it really be like if you left? That would never happen.... right?

For this past year, all I've thought is.. things need to get better. Life sucks. There's no where to go from here, shit. When I look back, I can't help but hate myself for thinking these things when I have who I need right here now. Kevin. It's not real that your gone. Today was so hard for me, but I HAD to get to your house. The traffic felt like hours for me trying to find the fastest way there. When I finally saw you guys, I was trembling and I couldn't focus. What the hell is happening. The second to last hug you gave me was a sigh of relief for me. Time was so limited! You weren't even gone yet and I was hiding tears behind my glasses. When your sister drove up, my breathing cut off. Breath breath breath Fiona. It's okay. I couldn't look at you hugging Yvonne. It was so hard watching you hug us for the last time. I couldn't look. I'm sorry for not saying bye the last time. I'm sorry for not chasing after your car. It was sooo hard, Kevin. I couldn't look. We all sat there for at least 10 minutes not knowing what to do. There was nothing that we could do but wish that we could have time all over again. It wasn't real. Things will patch up soon, you will never be forgotten. Ever. We all love you. Just remember, it's not goodbye, it's just see ya later.